Some good exercise, lots of nice lanes to glide through, a good pub for lunch and two small bits of the traffic free Cuckoo Trail.

Suitable for any bike.

Total distance – about 62 miles.

Meet at Catford Railway Station (NB: NOT Catford Bridge. Catford is the one of the two side-by-side stations closest to Forest Hill, just opposite the Halfords in the retail park) at 08:45 – we take the 09:02, changing at Sevenoaks to arrive at Tonbridge at 09:59.

Train fares from here can be rather cheap(ish), particularly if you arrive early/promptly and get yourself in a Groupsave 4 for the price of 2 deal.

Pub lunch but as always bring snacks to keep you going. Please also bring two spare tubes – far better to indulge any passion you might have for rubber/latex and sticky liquids at home – far more efficient to keep yourself and us moving by doing a straight tube swap on the road.

Contact: Paul 07957 209322. NO TEXTS – talk – it’s good for you

Report

Eight turned up for a ride which had been described (in addition to pub and scenic pleasures) as “a fairly demanding ride with some good exercise” in the post reccie invite sent out to the list.

A slight delay at Tonbridge railway station where Katie appeared distracted by a vision of Ian Pendleton further up the platform. Must have been a trick of the light for he didn’t appear. Off out of Tonbridge where we were delayed by an involved phone call to me from a BT engineer, then off for two stiffish climbs, first up to Bidborough, then to Speldhurst. I was pushed by some to press on but was keen to take it easy and let folk recover after the hills. No rush for the ride – the reccied pub does food all day. Contradictory messages about whether we wanted a slow casual ride or a faster one were debated over chocolate bars, along with the attractions of chocolate to women and mean average urination times.

Then a flattish bit before we joined the National Cycle Route near Eridge for a somewhat roller coaster ride. Hit Rotherfield for a planned rest, extended for a while as Andrew fixed a puncture. Beyond Rotherfield he punctured again, but I was in no mood to hurry and the early grey skies had cleared to a wonderful day. Our sunshine rest was almost spoiled/enlivened by Katie’s bike being crushed by reversing farm vehicles, but it escaped. Fate clearly had it in for someone else.

After 22 miles, during which we had been easily outpaced by a pair on a tandem, we hit Heathfield – the high point of the pre-lunch ride. Pretty much downhill and easy from here to lunch after 30 miles at Chiddingly, though I had to do a bit of frantic chasing-down of one of the party intent on following the signs. It had taken almost five hours to do less than 30 miles, challenging my Weybridge ride for pootling, but I was enjoying the casual spinning.

Lunch at the Six Bells, a great pub in the centre of the village. Quirky but unspoilt and unpretentious. Good beer and good decent priced food. We all ate well apart from Trevor and Andrew who were following their traditional nutritional regime. Look out for it soon in the best-seller lists - no title decided yet.

After lunch some nice flat pootling up deserted country lanes but then the gradients I’d told folk about started to kick in. A perverse (well why not?) bit down a bridleway I’d cleared a tree from on a reccie (the things I do) then back onto the cuckoo trail for another pootle.

More climbs – and this is where opinions will diverge amongst the group our web/mail posting had brought forth – but most of them neither very steep or very long. Nothing like Ditchling. Some great long descents and then as we hit a definitely extended climb with a few of us already suffering from the climbs/the sun/sugar low/distance from beer, we got a call from Ibrahim to say he was walking up after us as his derailleur had come off. We said we’d wait, then Ian went down to check him out, followed by myself and Jane.

We found a damaged back wheel and a mashed derailleur. Jane and Ian tried manfully to make the bike rideable the two miles to Wadhurst station but it proved impossible so we rode up to the pub at the top of the hill to get mobile coverage and phoned for a cab.

What arrived looked like a large black limo and as I headed back down the hill with the the rather well-dressed driver to make sure he found Ibrahim, I was worried that he’d refuse to take the generously lubed bike. But he opened the immaculate boot, delicately removed his banjo, and like a star laid the bike to rest.

We’d done almost 50 miles of a ride of about 62 but we decided to call it a day and all headed for Wadhurst as well where we met Ibrahim.

Definitely an eventful day – two punctures, one trashed bike, a few frayed nerves and some aching legs. er, “fairly demanding”.

Paul

From Jane: Sixty mile ride in E. Sussex yesterday led by a friend of mine which seemed to consist of hills, hills and more hills although very beautiful ones with gorgeous views passing through lovely villages like Rotherfield, Chiddingly Langton Green (too many more to mention.) All the hills meant some lovely descents, though, clear and safe enough to really let rip. And a few easy miles on the middle along the cuckoo trail to get our breath back before hills hills and more hills. (Any of you who know Paul Taylor's rides will understand!)

Then, near the end of the ride, one of our party seemed to have dropped off the back, we waited and waited at the top of the hill, then realised that even walking he was being a bit slow - so back down the hill we reluctantly went to find him trying to wheel a bike with a hideously mangled rear wheel and derailleur up to us.

We eventually managed to salvage enough chain to attempt to get him going on one gear the couple of miles to the station but even then the wheel was so wrecked and something nasty seemed to have occurred within the bottom bracket. He couldn't ride it so we chilled out at the nearby pub and waited for a cab to get him to the station.

I really enjoyed the day - it makes it more interesting when things don't quite go to plan- and it wasn't my bike!

Jane