Meeting Points

Meet at Catford Railway Station (NB: NOT Catford Bridge. Catford is the one of the two side-by-side stations closest to Forest Hill, just opposite the Halfords in the retail park) at 08:45 – we’ll be taking the 09:02, arriving at Tonbridge at 09:59.

If you’d like to catch us halfway, the train from Catford leaves Bromley South at 09:13 and we’ll be arriving at Orpington at 09:27, leaving at 09:40 to arrive Tonbridge at 09:59 as normal.

Train fares from Catford can be particularly cheap(ish), particularly if you arrive early/promptly and get yourself in a Groupsave 4 for the price of 2 deal.

The Ride

Last time I did this ride (see gallery July 2008) I was accused of downplaying its challenges, so, ladies,gentlemen, masochists, I give you:

The Sheer Unadulterated ***ing Hell of Chiddingly and Back

Last time we didn’t quite finish it due to varying degrees of physical, mental and mechanical breakdown (farewell Ibrahim’s bike which was taken away by a nice man in a limo), while rider comments included: “what beautiful scenery”, “a great pub”, and, through gritted teeth, “this isn’t cycling”.

What can you expect? As last time, some good exercise, lots of nice lanes to glide through, a good pub and two small bits of the traffic free Cuckoo Trail.

Suitable for any bike.

Total distance – about 62 miles.

Pub lunch (recommended) but as always bring snacks to keep you going.

Slightly involved train journey this time due to works but actually just as fast as normal.

So, check out the pics, the last report and Jane’s comments in the gallery, then come if you dare. If it should all get a bit much, you can bail out at about 50 miles to divert to Wadhurst station – that’s as far as we got last time.

Contact: Paul 07957 209322. NO TEXTS – talk – it’s good for you

Report

photos

The Sheer Unadulterated **ing Hell of Chiddingly and back

Last time I did this ride (see gallery and report for July 2008) I got what can only be described as sustained grief once the lunchtime beer had worn off and ended up feeling like some form of war criminal for taking folk on a home counties bike ride. Ah the trials of ride leadership :)

Hence its somewhat over the top billing this year – I was determined to avoid any charges that I’d misdescribed it. But as it happens this one turned out rather well. Various reasons for that maybe, some debated briefly here and others will probably be nattered about in the Dog and Bell now and again.

So, despite the gut-wrenching title of the ride, we got 10 up for the challenge with Jane and Ibrahim supporting me to give us a hard core trio of returnees. I’ll try to get the names right/ish – Jurek, Jane, Paul, Ibrahim, Andrij, Bill, Katsura (may appear as Cat in pic captions) , Linda, Del, Stuart.

Managed to lose pretty much the entire field at the beginning (not sure why – apparently Jurek has the reason) but then we headed up towards the first climb to Speldhurst, followed by a flat bit and then a trip through the woods and some quiet lanes towards Eridge where we bumped into Mary from Tunbridge Wells who was off for a tootle to the Heathfield show. After a bit of persuasion and assurances that we knew where we were going she decided to tag along with us.

More ups and downs, the traditional stop at Rotherfield’s thoughtfully provided bench (though as our fields grow another two might be handy) then off to continue towards Heathfield on the National Cycle Route. Just past Rotherfield a bloke in an underpowered red car shouted the c(ouncillor) word at us. Not sure why. The sort of guy who doesn’t need a reason. Passed two Swedish blokes who were surprised that cycling helmets weren’t compulsory. “The drivers are like terrorists” one told me. As it turned out on the many country lanes we tootled down today most drivers were excellent, giving us plenty of room and waiting patiently before passing.

As we reached the top of Heathfield we said goodbye to Mary (hi from Lewisham Cyclists if you’re reading this – feel free to join us again as we pass your way) and the 11 became 10 again.

Down to the Cuckoo Trail for an easy speed downhill, all uneventful though we lost Jurek and Katsura behind for a while. Reunited, up through the (motor) bikers haunt of Horam and back onto some lanes to Chiddingly and the rather wonderfully located Six Bells.

Nice pub, decent beer, great spot to sit outside though some found the tannoy a little less than rustic. We all ate apart from Bill who was apparently consuming a mountain of energy bars so we were all well fuelled up for the afternoon’s challenges. Apologies to Jane for appearing to treat her as a serving wench – was feeling a bit vague. Stuart left after lunch as he had to get back to town early.

After lunch Katsura asked me why I was going so slowly but I passed on the temptation to speed up – I knew what was coming, felt like taking it easy, and was waiting for the Red Thunder to kick in.

A somewhat perverse ride where the worst climbing is probably after lunch, but, wonder of wonders, no mutinies or grumblings this time. Pace was moderate as advertised, we paused frequently for natural rests, no-one held us up, and even after we’d eaten lunch we took regular snacks.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying the ride, including Linda who had initially been a bit wary, and though Katsura seems to have found it challenging from what she said afterwards it didn’t really show apart from fairly regular mopping of brow with a small cloth which she retrieved from a dinky bag hanging over the handlebars. I remain mystified why nothing bounced out – lots of thundering downhills on this ride and early on my rear light had bounced off and smashed. Ibrahim cruised on as ever until we reached the point where on the last outing he destroyed his bike and had to be taken to the station by limo. A quick photo with his new carbon bike to mark the spot, then we spun up the hill to the pub at the top – last time the scene of dark splutterings into beers about a too-tough ride, Jane’s much appreciated efforts to defend me, and a retreat to Wadhurst station for a ride unfinished.

Today with a lighter mood we paused awhile in the wonderful late afternoon sun, then off again to finish the ride. Bill was up for coming with us but then changed his mind so the remaining eight peddled on through some more wonderful countryside and past – bizarrely enough - a Curling Centre.

Still some more climbs (of course) but also some wonderful downhills, until we hit a  supposedly private road and cruised into Tonbridge the back way just in time for a train to whisk us back to town.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the day and the difference from last year was amazing. If you don’t believe me, check the pics. Last year some had to be censored.

Jane commented on how much better and less torturous the ride and mood had been and it’s now been decided that the next outing will have a somewhat more moderate title – The Heaven (with a little bit of Hell) of Chiddingly and back.

Thanks again to everyone for coming.

Below a selection of post-ride comments – some from emails sent to me afterwards, others pasted from the rather excellent www.yacf.co.uk where you might find a few folk you know.

All comments genuine. Honest:

“Thanks for a great route. Over 1,800m of climbing in 101km! I didn't think I could handle that much, but glad I did it.”

“An exceptionally fine day out - a good ride, excellent company, new faces, a fine pint at lunchtime. Hell? No, just tough, and a better challenge for that.”

“Really glad I did the ride yesterday. Felt totally knackered when I got home but don't feel as bad as I thought I would today. Really nice crowd of people too”

“A very fine ride. Well researched and well led. Some challenging hills, followed by lunch followed by some more challenging hills. (Bring 'em on!). The company - sublime.  Hell? Nah - too many fluffy bunnies seen on the ride to make it hell.”

“A great ride, in no small way due to the lovely company - lots of chuckles as well as heavy breathing.”

“I enjoyed it, very smooth ride”

Paul
(rehabilitated war criminal)